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Why renew your vows?  They don’t expire!  They sure don’t expire, but sometimes they tend to get forgotten during the crazy, busy hustle of life or when trying to load an unruly animal into a trailer.  I brought up the idea of renewing our vows to Rob a little over a year ago and he went along with it so I knew he thought it was something neat, too!

Here’s is what I will tell you about renewing your wedding vows.  It feels different! Like totally different!  When we said the words to each other at our wedding, I was also worried about if the cake got delivered, if the DJ was setting up, and the list goes on.

While renewing our vows my mind wasn’t cluttered with any of that.  In fact, my mind was replaying the last 15 years of our married life like it was one of those reels of film that we used to watch in elementary school.  You see, our marriage hasn’t been easy, truthfully has any marriage ever been easy? There have been many nights where Rob has had to sleep on a cot or in a chair while dealing with my various health issues over the years. He has literally been my nurse as I have thrown up on him, wiped things up off of the floor for me that I couldn’t probably look at, and has been my rock when things have literally gone shitty. Pun intended. 😉  He has stood beside me while dealing with anxiety attacks, held my hand when I have felt overwhelmed, and has been the voice of reason when I couldn’t see a reason.

So while marriage vows don’t expire it doesn’t hurt to remind each other about all of those promises that you made on your wedding day and it doesn’t hurt to take the time to look into each other’s eyes and renew those promises.

Here are my top tips for making your vow renewal special:

  1. Dress up!  Make it an event.  I bought a dress that I would typically never wear and Rob wore the cowboy hat that he has had for our entire marriage (actually before we were married).
  2. Write something to each other.  We didn’t write our vows when we got married, but we did write a little something to each other this time and I will cherish those handwritten words for years to come.
  3. Involve people if you want or do it in private, the choice is yours. We chose to renew our vows in front of our children and a few family members and friends. I felt like it was extremely important for our girls to see that even though there may be raised voices from time to time Mom and Dad still love each other deeply and are committed to each other
  4. Involve your family (if you want) When we decided that we wanted to renew our vows my nephew offered to get ordained, while you don't have to have someone ordained lead your ceremony it sure was special to have Jackson conduct the ceremony and my niece read. Our girls were also involved by "walking" me to Rob.
  5. Incorporate something from your wedding. We chose to bring our cross that was passed around at our wedding. The cross was passed around at our wedding and people prayed over it and offered prayers for our marriage. We did it again at our vow renewal!
  6. .Celebrate!  We celebrated with our immediate family and friends by having a party at our house.  It was so fun and fun to relive some of the funny things that happened with our wedding day and celebrate with those that we love.

Have you considered renewing your vows? What things might you do differently?

From the gravel road-

Jen

6

10 Years ago today I got a second chance at life. Some of you know this story and some don’t, but it is part of my life and part of why I am the person I am today.

In March 6th of 2009, I was scheduled for an MRI because of a killer headache that I had experienced the previous weekend, I had no idea what the next months of my life would be like.  

That day I left my job with another killer headache, blurred vision, and literally threw up into a cup for 45 minutes as I drove myself to the hospital where my MRI was scheduled to take place.  The MRI wasn’t scheduled until 4:00 that afternoon, but I walked into the ER at 1:00 knowing that something was not right. I was diagnosed with spinal meningitis that evening, I don’t remember much at all of that time when I was in the local hospital.  I remember lots of yellow gowns and wanting to cover up with tons of blankets, but the nurses kept pulling them off of me because my fever was so high. I would doze on and off and don’t really remember the events leading up to my transfer to St. Mary’s in Rochester, Minnesota.  

What I do remember is the transfer to Rochester.  The ambulance was cold, bumpy, and I felt very alone.  For that ride to Minnesota my headache did subside (I now know it was probably from the help of a whole lot of morphine.) By the time they unloading me and got me to a room the doctors attempted yet another spinal tap while in my hospital room and it was literally the most painful feeling I have ever endured in my life, my head felt like it was exploding, the faintest light made my eyes feel like the were being yanked out by a hand in the back of my head, and even the faintest touch of a hand send pain through my entire body.  That was the night my grandparents visited me. I know, this freaks people out, but on that night I now know just how close I was to leaving this earth. I vividly remember my Grandma Bushbaum standing there with a glass of diet coke with lemon and a fly swatter in her hand.  I vividly remember by Grandpa saying they were just coming by to check on me.  I vividly remember asking to go with them and my Grandpa saying, “No, Jenifire. You have to stay here.” My grandma kissed my forehead and they left.

My next memories fade in and out and include lots of hallways, bright lights that caused intense pain, and lots of vomiting.

I spent the next 4 weeks in and out of hospitals both local and out of state.  I had a 1 year old, my husband had a new job, and I was in the first year of a very demanding job.  

Obviously, I am here typing this post today, so you know the story ended well. It was definitely a long road of many ups and downs, but those weeks changed my life forever!  There were times that I truly did not know if I would get to watch my baby girl grow up and days that my body hurt so badly I wasn’t sure I could keep fighting. I had blood clots in both arms and had gone through more spinal taps than anyone should ever have to endure.

I don’t think I fully realized the “trauma” that my mind and body went through in 2009, but I am often reminded when I have to have a routine blood draw for my Crohn's Disease checks or when I have to lay still for a CT scan or MRI to check my guts.  Even a routine blood draw now causes anxiety to creep in and I literally have to have to go to a different space in my head to prepare for a CT scan. I don’t suffer headaches often, but when I do my mind immediately goes to the thought that this could be it again. (Obviously not every headache is from meningitis, but once you have experienced the feeling it is one you never forget.)

That extremely difficult road I traveled in 2009 didn’t just leave me with anxiety and chronic weakness in my hands.  It left me with a second chance at life. It left me with hope that there is a beautiful place called heaven where our loved ones that have passed are waiting for us.  It left me with a desire to LIVE life to its fullest and never take it for granted. It left me with a desire to leave nothing unsaid, to dream big and huge, and to love every birthday, hug, and event that occurs in my life.

Have you experienced a second chance at life? I am always fascinated by stories of second chances and would love to hear about it.

From the gravel road-

Jen

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